Space Program of the Second Company of Kerbals

This is a warning to anyone who has work to do, who is trying to build a future for himself whether through a business or a career; people who wish to become free in the future to pursue whatever nonsense pleases them:  Do not download an open beta for a game which has been making you count the days forever - get the current task far out of the way, preferably in the opposite hemisphere.  I bring this up in light of two new games I have attributed to my recent spike in procrastination; these be Kerbal Space Program and Company of Heroes 2.

Both of these titles are open beta currently, and in spite of my cut-and-shut attempt to mix those two names up in the title of this post, they need distinct attention.

Kerbal Space Program

Sorry to lead you on a bit, but I really cannot give a comprehensive opinion on this title currently.  All I can say is that the method of building spaceships couldn't be simpler - all it lacks is some cylinders which are wide at the top and narrow at the bottom (EDIT:  You can rotate these parts, according to the controls), to enable a colossal fuel tank to sport a tiny, frugal engine without it looking like a toothpick supporting a barrel of crude oil.  I say I lack much of an opinion because all I have achieved to date is:

• Numerous crashes
• One satellite in a comet-style eccentric orbit
• One satellite off into space...  somewhere...

So yep, no opinion.

How North Korea would handle a space program, except that Kerbal looks too well fed...

Company of Heroes 2

Company of Heroes wasn't just an RTS to me, not even just a great RTS; it completely changed how I thought about the entire genre to the point where I feel entitled to all future RTS games being called "like COH but".  I remember playing titles like Red Alert (featuring the funniest death sound ever to grace a nuclear blast), C&C Generals (which for some reason I played to death) and Star Wars:  Empire at War (Space battles only, the ground levels can eat a gun).  All these titles were good, but they lacked an essential quality that sets COH well apart, and that is a essential humanity in the way the game feels; the dialogue from your units and others sounds organic and improv-ed to a T, the vehicles move according to their weight and all munitions used have a distinct, vibrant impact.  COH2 has proudly carried on the tradition... to the Eastern Front!  Relic could have just made another expansion like Opposing Fronts or Tales of Valor, but no, they gave the theatre playing host to half of all the blood spilt during the conflict it's own damn game - exactly what it deserved!

Oh, right, is it any good?  Are you mad?  Why would I wax lyrical about probably the least relevant (wrt gameplay) facet of this title like it was the goddamn life's work of Brunel if I didn't love this game?  I fucking adore it and wait like a widowed bride upon the cliff pining for her soldier to return home!  I especially can't wait to see how they handle the drama of the Eastern Front through the campaign; we needn't worry about gameplay getting lodged in the works since it is as streamlined as a swan with twice the bite.

In conclusion, say what you like about COH2; you scratch it's back, it introduces yours to a dagger, it will keep you starved and awake, it will even have you fight to the death when the writing has been sandblasted into solid steel mounted to the wall...  but it is never, ever dull!